Food For Thoughts

this morning i was on a MERT stand-by shift for the first time. it was for a karate tournament.

while i was speculating the rules and customs, i had a little light bulb moment.

i noticed that one of them had particularly calloused feet. probably because they have to be barefoot at all times. it reminded me of summer time, when i used to frown at girls wearing flip flops that had dry and gross looking feet.

but there's a chance that it's not because they don't take care of themselves, isn't there? maybe their feet are like because they do karate or gymnastics. why am i so quick to judge?

then i realized, many things are like that.

i can think of many instances which i could have made other people think of me in another way than how i really am.

for example: i could look disinterested, but probably i'm really tired or stressed out.

or i could look super filthy and sloppy, but maybe i just worked out/danced, or maybe i'm on my way to shower!

it also reminds me of this video

so i had a moment of reflection and reminder not to judge others too quickly.

and that felt pretty nice.

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korean night went really well.

danced like a maniac in the after party. i probably should dance in heels more often? it burns a lot of calories and my thighs hurt a lot right now (good sore though)

also, i really need to work out more.

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the whole housing thing is getting me really excited for next year!

and i want summer to come already (skipping the weeks of midterms and finals would be nice!) because i can't wait to reunite with michelle, paul, colleen, and possibly seth and chuyi?!

i'm also quite psyched to meet the two emily and emily.

i have a good feeling about next year :)

Some shit

sooo today didn't quite start out well

woke up @6 from suite-mate's alarm, went to her room and asked her to turn it off and make sure it doesn't go off again every hour.

climbed back to bed and tried to sleep, 5 min later, the same alarm ran.

great. so when i was falling asleep last night, you spoke loudly on the phone and played music loudly, and this morning you wake me up with your alarm clock that fails to wake you up.

a few weeks ago, i noticed it ran for the first time, at 3am, i thought you weren't there and just went into your room. except then you woke up and turned it off. and your metronome alarm clock continued to go off every hour without fail. and another day when i was staying up, same thing happened. and i just stuffed my ears with ear plugs.

how do you even manage to do that? i'm half impressed.

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i passed the friend who's been giving me cold looks since start of last semester again today.

beginning of this semester i finally wrote her boyfriend an email inquiring what the hell this is about, because had i done something to offend her, i would like to tell her sorry. who wants someone to be angry at them without even knowing where that came from?

the explanation? she thought i gave her "bad vibes".

excuse me? i barely get a chance to talk to you on a daily basis, rarely run into you. i've never talked behind your back. i've never judged you. i've always been friendly. and all of a sudden i gave you bad vibes?

okay so this is a misunderstanding. sure. now that we've cleared that up, it should be normal right?

oh she smiled back when i did, but it was delayed and reluctant, and probably the ugliest smile ever.

seriously, if you still have a problem with me, then just go away.

i made an effort to find out what i've done wrong, and i haven't. so you know what? I WILL NOT TAKE YOUR SHIT ANY MORE OR GIVE A DAMN.

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also, i've been meaning to write something about this person for a while.

i've made efforts to hang out, or asked to hang out. you either have something else to do, or forget.

and the only times that you contact me is when you need someone to take your MERT shift.

i still haven't forgotten that you asked me to play violin to accompany your singing for china nite last year. and after i've listened to the song a million times and came up with how to play it since there wasn't a good written music score for it, you decided that you're just gonna use instrumental version of the song.

should i be flattered that you think of me when you need to use someone?

if you are making no efforts at all to be my friend, and on top of that you only use me for your gain, then fuck you too.

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sorry that this is just a long entry of angry rant.

but i'm not taking these crap from people around me any more.

and i will start to pretend that they don't exist in my world.

Aw

(except i want two, but minor details)

going to bed last night.

gav said something and i jokingly hit him

sam: i wonder what'd happen to him if he breaks up with you

i was still musing on the idea and it took a couple seconds to realize what gav said:

we'll never find out

ah

i can't put what i felt into words,

but it was something like a warm ray of sunshine

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felt lots of love from friends and sisters when i was feeling down about the whole big/little thing.

i appreciate it

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apparently i'm getting a new office?!

the heart research program i'm working for is moving its office to the building across the street, and it's newly renovated. and there's a student office. and since i'm currently the only student employee right now, IT'LL BE MY OFFICE.

awesome.

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i can't wait for spring break with gavie to d.c.!

i miss everyone and i just get so excited when i plan it. AHHHHHH!!!

I'M GOING BACK HOME! (sorta but still!)

:)

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in other news (or not really news..): i don't want to do work any more