Wow Really?

1.

I'm seriously annoyed at the people who gossip about me.

Since when do words travel so fast?

But you know what?

It's none of your effing business.

I don't need your judgment and I'm not gonna care what the eff you think about me any more.

Because it's my life, I won't let you judge me to do something different.

Only person who can judge me is me.

I'll stand up for myself and my decisions.

2.

I'm a JUNIOR IN COLLEGE now!

WHAT?!

I'm slightly freaking out and super excited.

I'll actually try to not eff up any more? <-- exciting too ya?

After all the dramas this summer, I'm actually legit very excited for classes to start.

Main goals:

1) good grades

2) be healthy: keep working out + eat breakfast

3) be more social and meet people

Project GREAT Junior Year,

Ready,

Set,

GO!!!

Just Some Words

So instead of packing I'm doing this.

Last time I procrastinate before school starts?

To my dear friends:

To a friend I miss, a guy I hate:

To a few people:

To the person I just hurt:

To all?

To the ones I don't know how to comfort:

And general words of wisdom:

And I guess I'll go back to packing now.

Void-Filler

my big, jordan, is back!!! i finally got to tell her about everything.
i've missed her so so much. it's sooooo good to finally able to update her and hear her italia experience.

she said i'm the void-filler.
i like it

i'm just not okay that they have those voids.
i'd love to fill his void and fill hers too.

let me in

Guilty

he updated his blog.
words of pain. pain cause by me.
"你是我见过的最善良的女孩"
i dont deserve that. because i really am not the kindest girl you've met.
i damaged you so badly and i'll always be sorry for it.

i know it's hard to forget, and it takes a lot of courage to forget,
but please, please move on.
i'm not throwing away our memories. i thank you for those memories. but i just need to archive them somewhere.

i'm guilty, not innocent.
i'm sorry.

Nightmare

it's been a while since i had a nightmare so dreadful that i woke up crying.

i never want to lose you, you and you. not in my dream, not in reality.

it was so real.

i was so scared.

i want you to live for so much longer.

to see me accomplish so much more, to see me walk down the aisle with my happily-ever-after, to see me really grown up.

i can never express how much you mean to me.

don't leave me.

Suerte

it's quite a warm feeling to realize that i have friends who don't judge me
on what i wear, what decisions i make, what a dork i am, what mistakes i've made,
and how addicted i am to my recent guilty pleasure.

so, gracias, mis amigos :]

Oh Hi

new blog.
in english!
woohoo!!
more to come soon